The Rapscallions – Suck EP

The Rapscallions – Suck EP

Oh, for God's sake...

“Wiiiiva lil’ bit… wiiiiva lil’ bit…” etc etc. Genius. The Rapscallions bring to mind that most outrageous and far-reaching beat combo The Libertines, but possess little of their wit. Which wasn’t much anyway. Seriously though, Daniel F. Churchill and Reece McLaughlin’s duelling vocals share with Doherty and Barat an admirable kinship, but one ultimately lampooned by their main influence’s mere existence. While those two are in living memory, no other barrel-boy bastards can get a look-in, deserving or not. And also, this Mighty Boosh-loving, Dickens-referencing mush of a scene fell to pieces in about 2005, didn’t it? Where are The Holloways now? And The Metro Riots? Anyone?

Their Suck EP certainly does suck, though, hackneyed and faux-rock ‘n’ roll clichés spun out beyond hilarious levels. Comfort Zone is a song written in precisely that area and focussed on the most mundane of subjects. “You’re living at home, you’re in your comfort zone” they shrilly impart over a Clash-lite backdrop. This might well be a worthy topic for discussion, but for Christ’s sake man it up a bit, yeah? Make it a little deeper than blanket anger at not much, or make that anger entertaining enough to warrant our attention at least.

The asinine, relentlessly dullardly Revolting Bar Stewards fares little better, having the sheer laziness to rhyme “they sing, they fight, they’re hardly polite”, and seriously includes the “oi!” with no irony. The icing on the cake is that it’s delivered amidst reggae backbeats and clangy guitars, playing immediately to the stereotypical “we should enjoy reggae, shouldn’t we?” mindset of the most absent-minded modern punk thinkers. Relief comes in the surprisingly sprightly beginning of Capital Punishment, but it’s smashed to bits by all the cretinous observations within, and I can’t be bothered to finish writing about it.

Should you enjoy having your ears mangled by the vicious pummelling you’d give yourself on hearing this EP, then visit the band’s MySpace. The EP is available at Rough Trade and online from March 2nd.

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